Pre-Vacation Summer

T and I are just about ready for Euro-trip 2012. All the reservations we were going to make ahead of time are made. 7 days worth of rail passes are purchased. Passports are up to date. Child care and house-sitting have been arranged. We even bought a pile of Euros from a massage client of mine. With the exception of a few small items to purchase, we're all set to go. In a little over a month.

So- What to do in the mean time? Well, Summer is my favorite time of year in the North Country. This is the land of summer camps, swimming holes, hiking trails and campfires. I cut my schedule down to 2 days a week. That gives me lots of time to spend with Lils but not a lot of money. We manage. Picnic lunches are easy enough, and there are lots of great places locally that are free (or cheap) to access. Last week, I took her hiking to a waterfall and a swimming hole. On the way out to the swimming hole, I stopped at a roadside strawberry stand and picked up a quart of fresh and juicy berries. T even got to meet up with us when he got out of work. This is basically our summer lifestyle. Not bad, eh? 

Last weekend, we did a short trip to Massachusetts for our niece's 3rd birthday party where cuteness ensued. We took advantage of some Marriott points and got a free hotel room nearby. Our little family was due for a mini vacation together and this was a perfect opportunity. We were pretty wiped out from the road trip and the birthday party so we decided to spend the rest of the day holed up in the hotel room. We got take out and hung out in jammies. Lils jumped on the beds and had a blast. Well rested the next day, we met up with my sis and her family and traveled to a NH beach where they were having a sand sculpture competition. The sculptures were intricate and awesome and the water was lovely. 

As excited as we are to leave on our trip, we'll take full advantage of the summer we get right here at home. 

'Cause I'm not Perfect.

A very dear friend of mine says "We teach people how to treat us." She used it in the context of taking responsibility for someone else hurting her feelings. That statement has been ringing true for me lately.
I've recently reached the end of my rope on the level of hurt I can handle from one individual. It's not all that they do (which I don't agree with, but we live our own lives). It's the way I am treated by this person. The way this person makes choices without consequence. The way her world supports her choices. But mostly how I'm made to feel around the whole situation.
I was recently asked to put myself into an emotionally painful situation and told that what was expected of me was to just not say anything and just show up and be quiet. These are the people who are "supposed to" know me better than anyone. I'd like to think they know me better than to think I can just make myself present just for the sake of being there. And NOT SAY ANYTHING when people are pushing my emotional buttons. So I just didn't. I just said no. And I chose to give my energy to those who give back. You don't have to be nice to me all the time. You don't have to be good all the time, but for Heaven's sake, do not require me to be someone I am not.
I truly love all these people, but I love myself too much to willingly put myself into hurtful situations. I can't expect other people to care about my emotional well being, but I absolutely will not set my own feelings aside for folks who will not see me for who I am.
OK, enough catharsis for one post. One day I'll be emotionally mature enough to handle all things, but today is not that day. Peace.