The Value of a Kid-Free Weekend

Some folks just won't do overnight trips without their kids. We are not those people. Don't get me wrong, we love our daughter and enjoy spending time with her. She's a pretty cool kid. She's adventurous and travels well, too. We just need our grown-up time every now and then to stay sane. It's great for us as a couple to spend some time with each other and have some un-interrupted adult conversation. The option to sleep in is nice, too.

Lucky for us, there are plenty of capable people we can leave her with while we go out and play. We don't take for granted how cool it is to be able to drop her off and not have to worry about her all weekend. 

How'd we spend our kid-free weekend? Acting like kids ourselves, that's how! 

We dropped Lils off with her Grammy and made our way to Burlington, VT to see some very good friends who we don't get to spend nearly enough time with. 

We all traveled up to a place called Lincoln Gap, about a half hour out of town. It's a mountain pass road and the top mile of it is closed in the winter time. Parking at the "road closed" sign, we hiked our plastic sleds up to the top of the hill. That top half-mile makes for a pretty insane sled run. 

After all that sledding, we were hungry! We checked out a sweet little Thai restaurant that is BYOB. The food was excellent, and dinner out is much much cheaper when you're not buying wine! 

The next morning was a lazy quiet Sunday morning with some excellent homemade eggs Benedict on fresh croissants. Perfection!

We loved the weekend away, getting together with good friends and having some grown-up time, and Lily had an excellent weekend playing with her Grammie and Grampie.

I don't want to be without her every weekend, but it is necessary (for us) to have that kid-free time every now and then. 

Nothing like visiting a friend's spotless house to make me want to come home and clean.

We had a little pizza playdate party with a good friend. The woman has 3 young, rambunctious boys, and her house is somehow spotless! Now, I know we all do some level of tidying up before people come to visit, but I've been over a couple of times and am convinced that her house is usually this neat.
How is it done? She intentionally keeps the place sparsely decorated and not cluttered. Sheer avoidance of nick-nacks and whatnot. OK, I've got that part pretty well covered and still have piles of STUFF everywhere! I like to blame my mess on kiddo's toys. (neat friend has a playroom and we don't) There's a play kitchen in our real kitchen. The TV stand is a play cube that is full of toys (currently, the openings are covered with blankets to make a "fort".) On any given day, you'll find a varied conglomeration of musical instruments strewn about the living room. And art supplies. The project of the day varies from bead work to collage making to your run of the mill coloring project.
Looking around my kitchen right now, I am faced with the cold reality that I can not blame the entire mess on one 4 year old. Strewn about this one room, I can see piles of ski club related paperwork, business paperwork, travel books, tiles and whatnot from the shower project, a counter full of dishes (clean, waiting to be put away), various laundry (mostly clean), today's mail, empty wine bottles (hic), a bathrobe, and, of course, a few toys and art supplies.
Other friends of ours have a magnet on their fridge that plainly states "Excuse the mess, but we live here." Of course, their house seems cleaner on any given day than ours does lately.
So, I'm striving for balance. I want the zen-like appearance of very little "stuff" cluttering our living space, with the comfort of a home that says "hey, we live here."
If I ever discover the secret for myself, I'll be sure to share.

To Market, To Market

I love the farmers' market.
OK, flashback 3 years. A friend of mine is wishing the local community had a farmer's market. She goes to another market in the region to check things out and suddenly she's the coordinator for the first ever farmers' marketplace in our depressed mill town. Inspiring to say the least. Last year, I lugged my massage chair downtown every other week and did back massages for a buck a minute. I alternated with another massage therapist in town. Mostly, I did it because I wanted to be in the market scene. I made a few bucks and left most of my earnings back at the market with the food and hard cider vendors. My business is pretty well established in town, however, and it seemed that folks thought I wanted to build up clientele. They'd refer me to folks thinking I needed more business. Not to complain about abundant business, especially in this economy, but I have been doing massage for 11 years and intend to do it for many more, so overworking myself is not on my to-do list. Also, since moving my business to my at-home office, I have been more discerning about who I let in to my space, and frankly, I didn't need every market client coming home with me.
So this past summer, I let the market go. Instead, I visited as a customer when I could, and liked it that much more (except that I often stopped by between in-office massage clients and rushed through so fast I barely got to say hello to those fantastic market vendors I've grown so fond of.)

My friend the market coordinator could not be stopped at a simple weekly outdoor market. She decided that the community also needed a harvest market in November just before Thanksgiving, and a Holiday market in December as well. So we moved indoors. Last year, I lugged my massage chair over and did the back massages and sold gift certificates. This year, I decided to devote my harvest market day to the ski club. As we're in the middle of a membership drive, I figured I could get some new and returning members on board and sell a few t-shirts as well. Plus, I can bring my 4 year old to sell t-shirts where she'd be distracting for massage.

Although I made no money for myself today, I brought in nearly enough to buy groomer fuel for the season. That makes me happy. 

Aside from the monetary gain for the club, I was able to talk up our events and programs, and shmooze with folks that may or may not have local influence and even money to help our cause. 

I also get to meet folks with Nordic ski history that puts my meager kick and glide abilities to shame. Today I got to meet a guy that won first in his division in ski-jumping in '68. From this 171 foot insanely steep jump.  

On top of all that, I got some amazing multi grain bread from a local baker, fresh local cranberries, and some leeks. All in all, a good market day.

Oh, and while we were at the market, (and the 6 year old's birthday party immediately afterward) the Mr. was installing the base for the new shower and some backer board for the fancy tile job we're doing. What a productive day! 

Balancing Act

The little one had her first piano lesson today.

This is her first scheduled activity that she has to be at on a weekly basis.
I'm going into that phase of parenting where I want to have her be exposed to as many cool things as possible without over-scheduling her life. You've seen the parents that fail epically at that. You know, the ones that have multiple things each week for their tiny one to do. Violin, soccer, karate, art, play groups, and so on. While all those things are great for kids, some parents can over-do it.
If you think your kids may be over-scheduled, here's an article with a few helpful hints for you.
While mine is only 4, and piano is just one new activity, I can see how parents get carried away and overdo it. Whenever she shows slight interest in anything, I want to sign her up for that activity.
Personally, I'm really more a fan of free-range parenting: allowing kids enough free reign and independence to let their curiosity and imaginations flourish.
The piano teacher lives in my neighborhood, so she'll have another safe place she knows when she's a little older and roaming the 'hood on her own. Even her scheduled time is part of my greater plan to develop her independence.
So, it's about balance. A fun lesson here and there, some free time to roam and explore, and a little guidance along the way. With a little luck, she'll grow up to be a smart, well-rounded and independent woman.