Happy Holidays!

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Sick Day.

I'm home sick today. Just chilling on the couch waiting for your basic run of the mill tummy bug to pass through my system. This is honestly the third day I have taken off for sickness this year, yet I feel like I've got this image as a sickly person.
To be fair, I missed a month of work last year due to sickness. I had a tendency to let a minor illness (like strep throat) develop into a bigger illness (like scarlet fever), simply by muscling through and continuing to work and not rest.
Today, I could likely get up and muscle through my day on half power, hope I don't pass this bug on to my clients, and rest when I'm done for the day. My body has a history of not improving when I do this, though. So, alas, I'm listening to myself (for once) and taking another day off.
And I'm not happy about it.
As a self employed person with no paid sick days, This means no income for 2 days. It also means making up for the lost days by overworking as soon as I'm well enough to be back on a full schedule.
And I worry about my image. I'm in the business of helping others to be healthy. I want to appear the picture of health (however unrealistic) to the rest of the world. Yet, when I cancel a Yoga class, I have to announce online and through many phone calls and text messages "Hey world, I'm sick today!" When I take the day off from doing massage, it's not just one phone call to the office, it means calls to clients who were looking forward to their massage, many of them in some level of discomfort. It's me being ill, deciding to take care of myself for a day, and thoroughly disappointing people in the process.
Yes, I know, taking a day or 2 to rest and feel better is a good example for my clients (blah blah blah). When I've got someone I care about on the other end of the line, telling them I'm putting myself before them, I just plain wish I could crawl under a rock.
I just hope there's hot tea and a good book under that rock...

Coming Soon: Eurotrip Recap.

So, Eurotrip 2012 happened. It was awesome. I badly want to tell you all about it, but it will have to wait until we're fully re-integrated into the craziness that is our life. This includes the impending First Day of Kindergarten.  Egad.
So, Stay tuned for the Eurotrip 2012 recap. I will do my best to not make you feel like you've been tricked into watching someone's boring vacation slideshow.
Ciao!

Time to Fly!

We're heading out tomorrow for the much anticipated Eurotrip 2012!
Today is about final packing of our bags for the trip, packing Lils for her camping trip, and prepping Chateau Rexford for house sitters.
Plans include Berlin, Munich (and the Bavarian Alps), Paris, Amsterdam and the Rhine Valley.
We're so grateful to be able to leave the kiddo in good hands and know she'll have fun while we're gone. We'll miss her anyway!
I am beyond thrilled to finally get to be across the "pond" and to see new things and eat and drink like the American gluttons we are. I'm actually looking forward to being confused in a strange place and trying to work through language barriers with strangers.
In the past week, 3 people have told me that a trip like this will be "life changing". Hmmm... I'm not sure what they mean by that, and I'm pretty happy with my life today, so I'm curious to see if/ how these changes occur.
Either way, I intend to take lots of pictures and have a great time!

Pre-Vacation Summer

T and I are just about ready for Euro-trip 2012. All the reservations we were going to make ahead of time are made. 7 days worth of rail passes are purchased. Passports are up to date. Child care and house-sitting have been arranged. We even bought a pile of Euros from a massage client of mine. With the exception of a few small items to purchase, we're all set to go. In a little over a month.

So- What to do in the mean time? Well, Summer is my favorite time of year in the North Country. This is the land of summer camps, swimming holes, hiking trails and campfires. I cut my schedule down to 2 days a week. That gives me lots of time to spend with Lils but not a lot of money. We manage. Picnic lunches are easy enough, and there are lots of great places locally that are free (or cheap) to access. Last week, I took her hiking to a waterfall and a swimming hole. On the way out to the swimming hole, I stopped at a roadside strawberry stand and picked up a quart of fresh and juicy berries. T even got to meet up with us when he got out of work. This is basically our summer lifestyle. Not bad, eh? 

Last weekend, we did a short trip to Massachusetts for our niece's 3rd birthday party where cuteness ensued. We took advantage of some Marriott points and got a free hotel room nearby. Our little family was due for a mini vacation together and this was a perfect opportunity. We were pretty wiped out from the road trip and the birthday party so we decided to spend the rest of the day holed up in the hotel room. We got take out and hung out in jammies. Lils jumped on the beds and had a blast. Well rested the next day, we met up with my sis and her family and traveled to a NH beach where they were having a sand sculpture competition. The sculptures were intricate and awesome and the water was lovely. 

As excited as we are to leave on our trip, we'll take full advantage of the summer we get right here at home. 

'Cause I'm not Perfect.

A very dear friend of mine says "We teach people how to treat us." She used it in the context of taking responsibility for someone else hurting her feelings. That statement has been ringing true for me lately.
I've recently reached the end of my rope on the level of hurt I can handle from one individual. It's not all that they do (which I don't agree with, but we live our own lives). It's the way I am treated by this person. The way this person makes choices without consequence. The way her world supports her choices. But mostly how I'm made to feel around the whole situation.
I was recently asked to put myself into an emotionally painful situation and told that what was expected of me was to just not say anything and just show up and be quiet. These are the people who are "supposed to" know me better than anyone. I'd like to think they know me better than to think I can just make myself present just for the sake of being there. And NOT SAY ANYTHING when people are pushing my emotional buttons. So I just didn't. I just said no. And I chose to give my energy to those who give back. You don't have to be nice to me all the time. You don't have to be good all the time, but for Heaven's sake, do not require me to be someone I am not.
I truly love all these people, but I love myself too much to willingly put myself into hurtful situations. I can't expect other people to care about my emotional well being, but I absolutely will not set my own feelings aside for folks who will not see me for who I am.
OK, enough catharsis for one post. One day I'll be emotionally mature enough to handle all things, but today is not that day. Peace.

I want to do it all.

It's been a while since my last post. There are a few reasons for that. One is that there are some external stressors in my life that I tend to over-react to. Or, maybe appropriately react, but either way, I go off the deep end from time to time. Really, these stressors don't directly affect my life much, other than on an emotional level, so I am working my way through dealing with it. (vague much?)

Another reason for the lack of posting is I've been caught up in routine. Well, sort-of. From the outside, my life may seem far from routine. But it happens just the same. 

Oh, and then there's the fact that April happened. April is birthday month for both the Mr and I. That could mean awesome-fun-celebration month, or, as is usually the case with us, Broke Month. Along with having the car registrations and state inspections for 2 cars, April is tax time. As a self-employed mom who is married to a regular-job guy filing joint taxes, the whole "return" concept gets a bit dicey. We did get a return this year, but a slim one. April also happens to be when my business liability insurance comes due. Somehow, the bill was missed and I discovered I'd been without insurance for a week and a half. Oops. Oh, and there's the spring tire change that has to happen. (cha-ching) So, see why I haven't been posting. This financial crap is boring. With all those expenses for April, we decided to put our intense saving for Euro-trip 2012 on hold. It's just one month, and we intend to catch-up in the next 3.

Today, I am taking a sick day, as I caught some odd tummy bug over the weekend. It was pretty epic, actually, as I drank a little wine at a baby shower and got ill all over the front yard at my friend's house. It looked like I was an extreme lush, but as it turns out, I've got a nasty bug, cause it's still with me today. (OK guys, you can call off the intervention! It's a tummy bug!) 

This sick day is allowing me some time I wouldn't have otherwise taken to assess my life & day to day routines. It seems I'm once again over-extended. I'm currently serving on 2 boards of directors, working as a massage therapist, teaching a Yoga class, being a mom, newly taking Aikido classes, aspiring to mountain bike all summer (I mean, I just got a new bike seat), taking road trips all over New England (Burlington, Portland, Boston), Planning more road trips (Montreal, anyone?), Planting a garden, becoming a runner, I could go on...

What's being neglected? My house, obviously. This place is pretty trashed with kids' toys and paperwork and laundry. My husband, likely. He's not a complainer, so I have to be more aware of these things. My health- usually I get sick when I'm overextended, so I should listen to that. 

Here's the rub: I genuinely WANT to do all the things I'm doing, plus more. I want to go rock climbing more this summer. I want to paddle the rivers and lakes around here. I want to make some great Yoga videos to share all over the internets. I want to re-design my web page. That thing hasn't gotten any love in a very long time. 

I suppose I'm lucky, or blessed, or smart. I'm just plain glad that I really do enjoy my life and all the things I'm doing. It's just got to be about priorities for me right now. I'm not big on list-making but this may be just the occasion for it. It's great to want to do many things, but it could be time for me to plant my feet on the ground and prioritize, deciding what gets left in the dust, or, better yet, manage my time so I can do ALL things.